Ingredients - my published haiku, tanka, haibun and the occasional piece of writing that fits none of those categories.
I love it!guilty at havingforgotten to feedthe babyI realise it's alrightit's just a dollI just feel it needs that second "it's" removed ...Plus another idea, although it does change direction/philosophy?guilty at havingforgotten to feedthe babyI realise it's all rightbeing just a dollAlanLiterature Director, 2010 Bath Japanese Festival.
Perhaps an earlier draft - there were several - is better.guilty at havingforgotten to feedthe babyI realise that's alrightit's just a doll Alison
Post a Comment
2 comments:
I love it!
guilty at having
forgotten to feed
the baby
I realise it's alright
it's just a doll
I just feel it needs that second "it's" removed ...
Plus another idea, although it does change direction/philosophy?
guilty at having
forgotten to feed
the baby
I realise it's all right
being just a doll
Alan
Literature Director, 2010 Bath Japanese Festival
.
Perhaps an earlier draft - there were several - is better.
guilty at having
forgotten to feed
the baby
I realise that's alright
it's just a doll
Alison
Post a Comment